Self Esteem Important In Successful
Relationships
July 17, 2006
Do we feel accepted by our partners no matter how good or bad our professional
life is going? Do we see our spouses as loving us for better or worse? These
questions are explored in a recent study included in the July issue of SAGE's
Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, an official publication of the
Society for Personality and Social Psychology, published by SAGE Publications.
The article, "For better or worse? Self-esteem and the contingencies of
acceptance in marriage" presented research led by Sandra Murray of the
University at Buffalo. The study, funded by the National Science Foundation and
the National Institute of Mental Health, was culled from the daily diaries of
over 150 married couples. It concluded that people with low self-esteem
incorrectly perceived their partner's acceptance and love to be contingent on
their professional accomplishments.
To help to unravel the mysteries of relationships as they naturally occur in
real life, husbands and wives reported on their professional successes and
failures while also reporting on the degree to which they felt accepted and
loved by their partner. Self-esteem was found to be a key indicator of how
people perceived their partner's approval and support. Men and women with low
self-esteem felt that their partner's love was contingent on their daily
professional successes--they felt more loved on days when they were more
successful. Low self-esteem women also felt less accepted and loved by their
partners on days when they failed at work or school. In contrast, men and women
with high self-esteem perceived their partner's love as unconditional. In fact,
high self-esteem women even tended to feel more loved on days when they reported
failing at work.
The findings also suggested the importance of teaching people with low
self-esteem how events in their own lives may, unreasonably, spill over into
their marriages, causing them to see their spouses more negatively than is
justified. Go to http://psp.sagepub.com/cgi/reprint/32/7/866
to access the article in the July issue of Personality and Social Psychology
Bulletin at no charge for a limited time. To contact the researchers, please
email Sandra L. Murray at smurray@buffalo.edu.
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About Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin
For over 30 years, the official monthly journal of the Society for Personality
and Social Psychology (SPSP), Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin (PSPB)
has provided an international forum for the rapid dissemination of original
empirical papers in all areas of personality and social psychology. SPSP counts
more than 4,500 researchers, educators, and students in its membership
worldwide. To contact the Executive Officer of SPSP, please email David Dunning
at spsp@cornell.edu. www.spsp.org
About SAGE
SAGE Publications is a leading international publisher of journals, books, and
electronic media for academic, educational, and professional markets. Since
1965, SAGE has helped inform and educate a global community of scholars,
practitioners, researchers, and students spanning a wide range of subject areas
including business, humanities, social sciences, and science, technology and
medicine. SAGE Publications, a privately owned corporation, has principal
offices in Thousand Oaks, California, London, United Kingdom, and New Delhi,
India. http://www.sagepublications.com/
Contact: Judy Erickson
SAGE Publications
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