Kids Under Pressure

What this study doesn’t tell us is how parents are using this extra time with their children. And that, in a nutshell, is cause for concern.

The newest trend for the 21st century is hyperparenting, where parents are driven to expect and demand more and more from their children, in terms of academic results, achievement on the sports field, in the music hall, and in virtually every area of their lives. In order to attain the perfect child, parents are becoming increasingly involved in their children’s lives, helping with (aka doing) homework, spending time on the touchlines, overseeing instrument practice, and demanding excellence in each of their many pursuits. Increasingly, parents are living through their children and allowing their own misspent dreams and ambitions to be realized through their children’s own achievements.

The result? Worrying levels of stress in children who are now placed under pressures that simply did not exist just a decade ago. Is it cause for concern? The physiological and emotional damage caused to children is immeasurable, and with the effects of stress in adults only just beginning to be fully understood, we have created a potential time bomb that will affect generations to come.

One in 10 children in the UK now suffers from a serious mental disorder, and children as young as three are being treated for stress-related and emotional problems. More than 200 interviews conducted by a team from City University in London found unprecedented levels of stress in British people of all ages and 'worryingly high' levels in children. More than a quarter of those questioned by the researchers said they were often or always stressed. Half were 'occasionally stressed'.

'We were surprised by the extent of the problem, particularly by the amount of stress reported by very young people,' said Professor Stephen Palmer, who led the study. 'If you had asked eight-year-olds about stress 20 years ago, they would have looked blank. Now they understand the concept and a significant number report experiencing it.' They also found that nearly a quarter of the under-18s studies said that they often got stressed, and only one in six never suffered from it.

Studies show that children now play an average of one hour less per day than they did only three years ago, and spend a great deal more time accompanying parents on errands, attending outside activities and studying. Homework has increased by an average of two hours a week, and children are getting at least an hour’s less sleep per day.

But they are, according to the study, spending more time with their parents. Does overseeing homework, demanding excellence at the gym, on the pitch or in the school band, and expecting perfect behavior from a perfect child constitute quality time, or, indeed, responsible parenting?

Before we pat ourselves on the back for the extra time spent with our children, perhaps we should consider what that time entails. Are we nudging and cajoling our children to excel in some area of their lives or are we relaxing and enjoying their company, providing a respite from stressful lifestyles? Are we acting with unconditional love and acceptance or are we guided by expectation?

These are questions every parent needs to ask themselves, and the answers could define their child’s future.

About the author

Karen Sullivan is a highly regarded journalist specializing in natural health and childcare. She has written over 20 books on health and health issues, including Vitamins and Minerals, Healthy Eating, The Complete Illustrated Guide to Natural Home Remedies, The Common Sense Guide to Pregnancy and Childcare and Natural Healthcare for Children. She writes regularly for national newspapers and magazines, and sits on the expert panel of Nutravida.com, an online neutraceutical company. Karen is passionate about natural health and practices what she preaches with her own two young sons.

Karen is the expert on smacking and disciplining children in a new BBC TV documentary, ‘A Good Smack ‘, to be shown in April 2002.

Karen Sullivan lives in South London and is available for interviews.